The Human Lens

     It's been some time I have started to like this loneliness. Sometimes it's peace how you don't want more of anything else as other times its dangerous how you can live alone.     When the night starts to get darker, We get to sleep or else the darkness might devour the little goodness left in us and make us like the rest of them. It's no harm spending the whole night procrastinating but just that you won't be doing so. I often wonder at these times about the impact of the absence on other people. Do they miss me? Yes, Maybe or not. Well, that doesn't help either to think about. But, a thought that' keeps bothering me is what if you knew there was a world where you could rewind things and fix it up? Where you could forget the memories you want to and the let go of the people that haunts you.     It's no heaven here, trust me. The memories of the people I may have wronged with my behaviour or my attitude or just leaving them at the middle of nowhere w

            Some days I can't stop thinking about you , I want you more. Some nights Your thoughts crosses my mind as if it's about to explode. Some nights I see our pictures and live the moment again in my mind. I wanna stare at you until my heart fills I like your hands The way you care for me , You make me laugh , I can't ever ask for anything more but I do. See, Ami amr manush theke e expectations rakhbo Tai na. What if I told you that I choose you in every universe? Would you be mine then? I wanna forget every other thing in this universe just that I can be with you, Is it okay.? I was thinking the other day that on Eid I'll be on video call with you and make sure you meet my siblings atleast. They should know their sister in law. I'm not saying how much I care for you because I'm not doing it enough. It feels Good knowing you , Having my moments with you. I'm lucky 🌸. I miss you, Sunflower🌼🌻. (Mine) . Always mine , Eita shobshomoi moneh rakhba je.

 You know right sometimes life sucks , You get disappointed from everywhere. You don't succeed , You feel lifeless. You just hope for it to be better but you know its never going to be so. Pain has a beautiful way of telling yourself that you are alone in this quiet night , You are struggling with the chaos in your head , The pain of stiches in your back and some memories you wish you could forget. This is gonna be fine anytime soon ig , Have faith and be quiet . 

 Date🌙.              .It all started last year in a lift. Things wasn't okay. She was fond of flying kites so I was. Started talking a bit by bit everyday. There wasn't negativity or boredom to it. We supposedly enjoyed each others company then.. . On last Eid she bought the famous Delhi Laddu she made at home and in return I gave her pickles and biryani. It was a positive vibe and things were running alright. Well, See There are two things in a person that makes them unique. Beauty and brain 💫, She was like beauty with brains . You can't ask for more. After Eid , There was this beautiful skyline and we were playing badminton ig and she asked me " Wanna go someplace nice to eat" ? Well  , I thought of it and cuz I didn't wanted to make It awkward. I said yes , Why not. Flirting was fun with her. There is this thing called no emotion attached ✨. Well, There you go at it. . As she used to live in the same building , I called her and asked her to come and said

 Morning, Sugar cube..  You have no idea how much your thoughts cross my mind. I don't let them to be in my mind for long cuz it then distracts me from every other thing. .  Do you remember when you saw me at first oidin tmader canteen e , When you waved your hands and came to hug me Ami ekdom e prepared chilam na oitar jnno. You hugged me so tight , believe me nobody else to that to me and krbeh na tmr moto. You are so sweet as a person. .  Erpor oidin you did let me have ice-cream tmr theke, You let me keep that tissue and Most Importantly that tie. Your smile , Listen its really lovable. Amr onek bhalo lageh. The way you touched my face, my head , It felt different ..  Also also, You did sent me a vm kalke rateh. Miss, I'm so sorry Ami ghumai porsilam , Apnio ghumai gesilen maybe.. It was such a sweet one tmr sleeping voice. .  Oidin canteen je jokhon tmi khacchila, Your face was looking so funny and cute. Amr iccha krtesilo to smash your cheeks karon oigula fuleh chilo ar t

 . Date¿ It was 4 in the afternoon and we were talking about what we would do it we meet ? At a point she asked me If I would come right now. Yeap , I thought she might be joking and she's like if you could come right now maybe someone will get a hug😉.  I hurried and took some chocolates and flowers on the way. There we two infront of each other. Not even saying a word. Just staring at each other and after a while I said "Hi". Well, What would you even expect me to say? I was shocked and Kinda Forzen seeing her for the first time infront of me for real. She' said "Are you here for me or for the hug ?" I said " Sudhu apnr jnno e ashchih , Oijeh Hashi ta dekhar jnno arki" 😌 .  She started laughing and My God I couldn't resist staring her the way she looked right then. "Can you think of a moment when you see someone and Your heart just fucking Melts🍫? I felt It then. After that She said Stop looking at me and Hug me. Toh ami ar ki krbo I h